A Spark of the Universe

Life is messy.

In part, life is messy because people are messy. Human beings are complex and the relationships they enter into are complex. Individual differences and personalities, emotional vulnerability, communication styles, conflicts and varying dynamics - all of these and more contribute to messy human connections. Toss in all the external factors (societal norms, cultural expectations, other stressors) and you can’t avoid the unpredictability and tension that are a part of relationships and life, in general.

Although I would like to be a person who embraces the messy life, I’m not there yet. I think my days would be more enjoyable if I could give in to the chaos but I tend to seek out order. I want my home to be (relatively) orderly. I like it when my appearance reflects care and when my mind is not tumbling in a dryer of confusion and distractions. I’ve learned to sometimes watch my thoughts and emotions and I notice the ups and downs. I wish it could be a smooth ride but I’m far from that.

Since I am a spark of the universe, I got to wondering if the universe as a whole is messy or orderly. I did a bit of research and was reminded that, yup, the universe is both orderly and chaotic. Start with the laws of physics. They work everywhere (that we know of anyway). Gravity and light behave predictably. Planets orbit the sun with astonishing regularity. The earth rotates and the days and the seasons play out over and over again. And then think about the patterns, the symmetry, the mathematical theorems that humans have discovered. There is evidence that the patterns are everywhere—from the spiral of galaxies to the structure and mechanics of cells to the complex design of snowflakes. Amazing! Some physicists have a sense that beneath the apparent chaos, there is a deep structure that governs everything. Maybe?

But chaos is still in the picture. The second law of thermodynamics tells us that the universe tends toward entropy. That means disorder or randomness is part of the universe. Systems break down. Stars die. Things - including people - decay. I don’t purport to know much about quantum mechanics but I’ve gleaned that it suggests that at the smallest levels, uncertainly is built into the fabric of reality. You can’t fully predict what will happen next. That just takes me back to my opening remark: life is messy. Accidents, natural disasters, emotions, random chance, illness, death. The messiness is real.

I suppose it’s not uncommon to wish for orderliness. The world feels safer when things are predictable and tidy. But the universe apparently holds both order and chaos. If I am a spark of the universe, that suggests that I contain both order and messiness too. I am the laws of physics. I am the symmetry and the improvisation. I am part of the dance.

Maybe the challenge for me is to accept, with gratitude, the messiness of life. How many times in my life have I been surprised at some twist of events when the undesirable becomes the desirable? Maybe the universe’s dare is to continue to cultivate curiosity? Maybe the challenge is to let the unruliness of daily life give birth to unexpected beauty, joy, growth, change? Maybe my task is to be patient and allow the universe to unfold as it is going to? Don’t push for order. If all of life were orderly, there would be no opportunities for the unexpected. As a result, I suspect I would be poorer in spirit. Life would be precise, uniform, even tidy, but it might also feel empty.

What do you think?

The painting at the top was my interpretation of this photograph from October 2023 issue National Geographic Magazine. This shows the supermassive black hole at the center of the Milky Way.