A recent NYT essay caught my attention. The article centered on Dr. Bob Ross of Ortonville, Minnesota. He has been a primary care physician in that small community since 1977, caring for most of the 2,000 residents even as he aged along with them. He delivered babies, fixed broken 9 year old arms, performed sports physicals, and provided care for adults as they dealt with the shock of cancer diagnosis, failed pregnancies, crushing accidents, and more. The line from the essay that got to me was this one: “He’d witnessed and grieved enough death in his lifetime to believe that it was an immense privilege to grow old, and he planned to do whatever he could to preserve it.”
I’m embarrassed to admit that that sentence woke me up. You would think that by my age, I would have long ago learned that growing old is a privilege but, oddly, I can’t say as I ever thought about it in those words. Yes, I have thought about the huge losses that fall to people who die at a relatively young age (which I will define as younger than 60). I do recognize that I have been lucky to have seen as much of life as I have. But once you get past 60, I tend to think more of all the things that you escape by dying. You (presumably) will be released from the grief of the world, no longer burdened with the sadness and suffering present all around us. The political morass and the general greed and selfishness of the material life will no longer be on your radar. You won’t be plagued by physical aches, pains, medical anxiety and procedures. You won’t have to mourn any more of your people. You will be free of the hardship and agonies of human life.
But, Dr Bob reframed that. He spoke of the privilege of growing old. Clearly I need to pay more attention to that side of things. Growing old is an advantage that not everyone gets to have. Having those extra years allows for more sunrises at the beach, more chances to see Broadway productions, more days spent creating and admiring art, more good books, more hugs, more laughs, more joyful tears, more Christmas trees and birthday cakes, maybe another night under a full moon on the Columbia River, more gorgeous flowers, more pizza and homemade chocolate chip cookies. Of course, your attitude makes all the difference in the world. One can endure a cranky old age or one can wake up every day with curiosity and an open mind. Your choice. I’m choosing to aim for delight. I’m choosing to look for Beauty in every day, even the tough ones.
This is a link to the article referenced above (from 04/08/2024). I set it up as a “gift aricle” so I hope anyone who wants to read it can do so.
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/08/us/biden-trump-age-health.html?unlocked_article_code=1.jU0.Nh3f.tKPj26DhrSwu&smid=url-share
Thanks for your post and reference to Dr. Bob in NYT article. We have company.
As usual, a thought provoker at just the right time.
Several of my walking friends and my husband and I went to Erie, Pa to watch the eclipse. It was a 7 hour drive and more activity than my “old” body had experienced in the last year or two. And, what “came up “ while the “sun went down “ was a feeling for the planet that made me want more not less. Birds, water, earth all overpowering with miracles. I want to keep observing it all.
I have to keep checking my “tuning fork “ so I can sing along as my body asks for more time off.
Watch “Ancient Earth” on Netflix. It too can help keep your motor running as the information reminds one of how lucky we are to be here at all. My god, what we have unearthed about earth.
So, I am trying each day to forgive myself for letting age render me useless. And I am forcing myself to put on my bifocals so I can see more clearly! This isn’t something to miss! This life, this second on earth, this mystery that can never be totally solved except by “being here now”.
Thank you Graciewilde for setting off a small earthquake under my ego! I am shaken awake!!!