Our Hidden Conversations: What Americans Really Think About Race and Identity by Michele Norris
A Book Review
“they ask me to remember
but they want me to remember
their memories
and I keep on remembering
mine.”
- Lucille Clifton - and the epigraph in this book
This is a powerful book. Go ahead. Pick it up. Read it. You will find it to be engaging, accessible, and thought provoking. No matter your age, gender, race, religion, or whatever categories you want to put out there, you will be immersed in this book. You will see yourself there somewhere. You might not want to talk about it but that is the point of the book: to speak about that which makes us uncomfortable. The narrative is a result of The Race Card Project, a 12 year old effort that delves deeply into the questions about race in this county. Essentially the conversations spring from thousands of responses to this short request:
Race.
Your story.
Six words.
Please send.
The format of the book is perfect. It is a blend of the six word responses, with longer vignettes or comments from authors of the six word responses, as well as more informative chapter notes from the book’s author Michele Norris. It was an accessible read but that does not make it an easy read. Consider some of these six word responses:
Really, but you don’t look Mexican.
Since when am I a racist?
And you wonder why I’m mad.
You’re here because of affirmative action.
Stop thinking Black. Start thinking human.
White girls should marry White boys.
Good morning but there’s no response.
Lady, I don’t want your purse.
My race does not define me.
I can’t help being born White.
Never too old to be profiled.
Will my son come home tonight?
I want to wear a hoodie.
I’m not your damn China virus.
The melting pot is a lie.
I am afraid of offending you.
Are you Black, Asian, or normal?
Racism is a flesh-colored band-aid.
Over a half million such responses have come into the project. The layout of the book allows for the six word statement to be read and, often, there is an accompanying vignette or explanation. What I find fascinating and a little scary is that there is rarely commentary about the six word statements or the accompanying text. It’s as if the reader has to decide for themselves how to sit with the text. The reader who is thoughtful and open will ache with the tension, grief, sadness, fear, anger, frustration of the six word stories and their explanations. The insights can be profound and the text begs to be discussed. Although I am confident that the text can be read electronically and possibly is available as an audio book, I strongly suggest reading the physical book. The layout is important; the photos tell much of the tale.
The offerings from responders are powerful but so is the informative text provided by Ms Norris. For example, Chapter 10 is entitled “So, You Want to Talk about Lynching?” This is a hard hitting look at the true horror of lynching. It is disturbing to read but you can’t discount the pain and malice when 4,743 people were lynched in the United States between 1882 and 1968 (data courtesy of the NAACP). Lynching was a fact of life in this country and the definitions and descriptions in this chapter will clarify any doubt that you might have about the power of White supremacy.
Ms. Norris also includes a chapter entitled “How Do You Define Racism?” She includes several dictionary definitions, including this one: “When a person is excluded, disadvantaged, harassed, humiliated, threatened, targeted, profiled, harmed, bullied, terrorized, or ignored because of their ethnicity, race, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, age, or gender.” That definition is followed by this one: “When good people stand silent watching any of all of the above happen before their eyes.” Finally, this definition is blunt and cutting: “It is the arrogant assertion that one race is at the center of value and object of devotion, before which other races kneel in submission.” In the end, however, Ms Norris settles on this simple definition. “Racism is a shape-shifter. It is not the same thing today as it was yesterday, and it will not be the same tomorrow or ten years from now. That’s shorthand for the academic definition that describes racism as a ‘multi-dimensional , highly adaptive system that ensures unequal power and distribution of resources among racial groups.’ The group that controls he levers of paw and distribution of resources weaves the interests into the gears of that system.” (P 197). To better understand the concept of racism, Ms Norris suggests that the reader try talking about it without using the word racism. Perhaps that will allow the discussion to focus more on the people involved and the consequences of racist actions. Perhaps it makes racism more concrete.
This whole conversation is a tough one. I am familiar with the history of racism in this country and keenly aware of the hurtful current presence of racism. As one six word statement put it, “Much progress: much more to do.” This one spoke to me personally: “Whatever my challenges, race wasn’t one of them”. As the author of that six word statement put it in their explanation, “White” doesn’t equal an easy life, but it does remove obstacles.”(p 371).
I don’t hear a clear plan addressed by anyone for expunging racism. In fact, the truth is that it is so ingrained in this society that its complete eradication might never be possible. What IS possible, however, is for greater awareness and blatant recognition that racism exists. The more we have the ability to see racism, the more we can do to extinguish its lasting effects.
My deepest gratitude to Michele Norris for spearheading The Race Card Project and for spotlighting the six word responses. This is the way to see each other.
***I have a Goodreads account and regularly post book reviews there. This link should take you to a listing of books reviewed over the last few years. I don’t hand out a lot of four and five star reviews so check those first if you are looking for a good read.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/4092784?ref=nav_mybooks
I was lucky to see Michele Norris as a guest on Stephen Colbert .
The conversation I heard was brilliant and unassuming. I felt relieved that Ms. Norris is a journalist and a wise and straight shooting one. There was no need to have “ breaking news “ over her comments.
She is a person who “ lives to lead”. She makes “the truth” stand out as a responsible part of any good human.
I hope I can gain emotional strength from her very wise ways.
Thank you Graciewilde for the recommendation important to social maturity that can only help us come home to hold hands….
Mob murder worse than any other.