As a result of a conversation the other day, I am now fascinated with the word authenticity. What does it mean to be an authentic person? How does a person live an authentic life in a world that seems to be largely (to me) inauthentic? Have I ever been truly authentic or have I always been truly authentic? Is authentic another word for honesty? (Hint: no).
To be authentic means to be faithful to the values and core beliefs that presumably guide your life. That suggests that a) you have to know what those values are and b) you have to be honest with yourself and others about holding to those values. That can be tough, especially as I alluded to above, in this modern world where marketing experts tell you how to be and how to behave in order to “fit in”.
Being authentic doesn’t mean you never stray from the absolute truth. If your friend asks you, “How do you like my new shoes?” and your immediate reaction is “I don’t” is that the answer you give your friend? Maybe. But maybe you value kindness. Maybe you decide that clearly your friend likes their new shoes and so what if they are not your style? Are you being inauthentic to say, “Heh, cool shoes. Not my style but I’m glad you found shoes that work for you.” I don’t think so.
That’s a trite example but it works. I think the bigger question around authenticity is does your inner self match the self that is being shown to the world? Are you even aware of what really matters to you in life? Are your words and actions in line with your inner sense of self?
I’ve had this James Hollis quote on my fridge for years:
“This is what is asked of us, to show up as the person we really are, as best we can manage, under the circumstances, over which we may have no control…that is all life really asks of us - to show up as best we can.”
Those are powerful words. Do I have the courage to show up as the person I really am? In these days of social media and ubiquitous marketing/consumerism, how adept am I at sorting out what matters to me vs what I am being told should matter to me? How adept am I at knowing what I want/need in life vs what I am doing simply to please and/or impress other people?
I, for one, will admit that I need to think about this. What really matters to me? Family, friends, health, compassion, the beauty/comfort of the natural world, the awareness of awe and mystery, safety, integrity, IDK. A lot matters to me. How do I sort them out and live those values? I probably overthink it (ya think? 🤣) but I’d rather overthink than under think . It’s too easy to become someone who uses social media and influencers to make the rules for their life.
What do you think? Am I overthinking? Are you able to identify your values? Can you live them despite the influences of the world? Can you share any strategies for doing that? I want to know. Thanks!
I don’t think I’ve ever worried too much about fitting into groups, and if I did worry about it, in the case of religion, it would have made a lot of my life easier on a certain level, but I knew all along that would have been something inauthentic for me. Not that I think there’s anything wrong with it for people who do participate in it.
There definitely are trade offs and compromises I’ve made with being or trying to be an authentic person.
Very thought provoking. Perhaps some reach a high degree of authenticity early in life, some late, some never at all. Perhaps some have it then lose it, then regain it again. or the reverse- all in the period of years or even days.
Perhaps the core values are very deeply hidden and quixotic.
Perhaps being inauthentic from time to time is being authentic to some. One gives permission to oneself to be inconsistent. What a riddle this all is to me.