Happy To Be At The Table

In the third season of White Lotus there is a curious scene at the table. Those images have been simmering in my head since I watched the episode. In the scene, three life long friends are having a real conversation:

White Lotus: Laurie's monologue at dinner. (2:34)

Summarized here:

“I just feel like as you get older, you have to justify your life, you know? And your choices…… I had this epiphany today. I don’t need religion or God to give my life meaning because time gives it meaning.

We started this life together. … I look at you guys, and it feels meaningful. And I can’t explain it, but even when we’re just sitting around the pool talking about whatever inane shit, it still feels very fucking deep.

….I’m glad you have a beautiful face. And I’m glad that you have a beautiful life. And I’m just happy to be at the table. I love you.”

I’ve been thinking about purpose and its role in my life. It certainly has changed over the years. Up until about age 30, the purpose was to get my feet on the ground on this planet and to locate my place here. For the next thirty years, family and community gave my life meaning. The greatest work of my life (so far) was raising the two children that the Universe lent to me. Beyond those two, I also chose to be part of the village that it takes to raise the community’s children. I could not have had a richer life serving the families in my small town. I had the privilege and the joy of meeting children and parents where they were in life and walking with them through both sweet and difficult days. Truly, it was my honor to be part of that network.

But now my children have children of their own and I have stepped away from a career in public education. In some ways, I am back to the beginning again. I am looking for my place in the world again. It doesn’t feel so complicated though. Maybe that’s the reward of living a long life. You more easily find the point of it all. IDK

I think I have two main tasks in life now. One is to be a witness to the beauty, the courage, the kindness, the delight that is always present in the world. Be a witness and tell about what I see (one way or another). It’s also my task to be a witness to the hate, the suffering, the sadness, the pain of the world. Be a witness and tell about it. Be a witness and act against evil. Be a witness and stand with others who are in sadness or pain. Be a witness in the world and be grateful to simply be at the table of life.

My other point in life now, the thing that gives me meaning, is to simply be present for other people in the world. My purpose is to hold the hand of someone who is scared or grieving, or to laugh and open my arms wide for celebrating the joys of others, and, always, to listen and to respond when appropriate. My job is to pay attention to people around me including my own children, grandchildren, siblings, nieces, nephews, friends in the community and strangers in the community. Pay attention. Be present. Love. After all, as Ram Dass said, we are all just walking each other home. I want to be consciously aware of that truth.

A few pieces of recent beauty: