People look to the past and say that was less complicated. It did have its up's and down's and maybe depended on the weather if you were a farmer. Expectations are a conundrum. They are made of mutual dependency.
We are urbanized, so we are dependent, both on jobs and on supply chains, (often called "just-in-time"). Back to nature will only support very few, and you wouldn't know how to do it, (without a copy of Real Simple). Mankind has lost 1,000's of years of know-how, and claims ancients were ignorant. You can grow peas, or have chickens and get 3 eggs a day, but that won't feed a family.
What factors into the state of mind? The most important is to live within the means of your present income, and have some little surplus. Move very slowly with the increases. Every conundrum and complication is the result of one thing:
For the western man; your COMPARISON AND ENVY enslave you and finally kill you. If you didn't covet what "the Joneses" have, capitalism would crash, because you wouldn't buy that new iPhone. In fact all advertising doesn't seek to sell you a product, its goal is to make you envious. "Look at this model holding this mouthwash. So many people want to kiss her fragrant breath". She has it all. Envious, right?
All the rest is a side trip offered to ignore my ENVY: less internal chatter, less obligations, less swirling to-do lists, less physical stuff to care for, less outside input, less attention to appearances of all kinds, less meddling, less intrusions of busy-ness, less doing. Actually all that stuff is FUN! and each day only presents one, or just a few items.
When you are your incomparable self, you ARE surprised, you are openness, you are beauty. That is your true identity. You can't miss it.
I very much appreciate your comments. Just to add a piece of my own experience...in 1975, my parents left their working class LA neighborhood (my dad was a steel worker) and moved to a 20 acre parcel off the grid in Mendocino County (NorCal). Talk about pioneers. They were a successful part of that back to the land movement and lived up there until their deaths 30 to 40 years later . They built a home, grew their garden, found ways to make do, did not keep up with the Joneses , read their books, played their music, enjoyed the strangers along the dirt road who became neighbors. It was not an easy life but it was a rewarding life in its own way.
I agree with you that comparison and envy are the devils today. Advertising plays havoc with our mindsets. They want you to be envious so that you spend your money and make capitalism king. I sometimes simply do not realize how those advertisers and shysters who want my money can manipulate me. However, I think I am more aware than I was when I was younger and I think it behooves me to keep looking for those manipulations. I'm not sure what you mean by "all that stuff is fun". I don't particularly like cleaning house or taking care of "stuff". I am not a big fan of to do lists or frenetic anything. I don't consciously strive to keep up with the Joneses but I know the Joneses impact how I spend my time and money. GRRR
Thank you for commenting. I will think more about what you wrote.
I think that you understand everything about what your parents modeled for you. I honor their choices and I honor their lives, (but not too much), because it cannot be a solution for the state of the world. Or even the state of our community.
If you understand about comparison and envy, you understand everything about our mental aberrations. It is also related to authority and "expertise". The whole point of our schooling is to bend us to authority, starting with the teacher's authority. I don't say rebel, but I do say be aware. So we are always looking out of the corner of our eye, if we are being approved of. Some part of society needs authority, but I say also learn to trust yourself. How did all those "experts" manage to make a Youtube video, (that you are going to watch)? I say that they self-declared their expertise. In order to stop comparing, you have to self-declare your own expertise. You are the special you, by definition, not by comparison.
I think that we all love to organize our lives. We each have our little "kits" of what we need for each activity. If we paint, we have our colors and brushes, and know how to stretch a canvas. If we can play something, we collect our sheet music, and organize it by easy, hard, needs work, powerful or soothing. We have our carpenter tools and our wood pile, or our knitting needles and our yarn collection.
We also organize our closet, do our wash, sew up that rip. We have our pots and pans, dishes and bowls. We know what our priorities are from day to day and what we will give time to next. None of that is forced doing, and I am saying is it satisfying (FUN). forced doing is from obligations. It is assumed obligations that we resent, if someone says "you owe it to me to do this". And we may let them have their way. It is our choice.
I ended with {When you are your incomparable self}, That means without comparison and envy. Thanks Graciewilde.
Your words literally bring tears to my eyes. I have an idea of what you are saying but I can't reach through the fog of a lifetime to fully comprehend it. That is both frustrating and sad. I agree that culture shapes us with its demands. I was rigidly shaped by the Catholic Church and by old school (and loving in their intent) parents. It was all about doing the "right" thing, and being the "right' person. I married at a very young age for lots of reasons - maybe to get out of the house, but mostly b/c I saw no other choices. Once I extracted myself from that marriage (which did not take very long), I could begin to discover my true identity. However, it's many years later and I STILL do not know what that is. I flounder and dabble and search and come up empty handed. Over and over. I envy, yes. I envy people who are comfortable in their own skin, who trust themselves. I am an open person, full of curiosity and always on the lookout for Beauty and yet , damn it! I DO compare. I DO still reach for someone to tell me the truth. I wait for myself to believe in something.
You also bring tears to my eyes with your clear and earnest honesty.
Please forget about the church and "doing things right". That is all in your memory (and you won't forget it), but that doesn't mean you have to recreate it in the present. Let it be another lifetime, or even another individual, that you can now love, nurture, and take care of.
You say that you can't grasp hold of your "true identity". Let it be that there is no such thing. You "truly" are an open field where perception and experiencing can happen. That can bring anything, anything that fits the current circumstances. That is not too much work. If anything it is too much joy.
You say people might be comfortable in their own skins, and that they might have something". Balderdash. Don't believe in anything, so then you can stop waiting.
The "truth", you must tell to yourself, and that is only one step at a time. We're all old, but there is ample time for patience.
Yes, I left Catholicism behind years ago but when you were as brined in it as I was, it is in your bones forever. If you set aside the church stuff, I think my parents gifted me with solid values and a strong family foundation. It was a big family in a small house, however, with regimentation and high expectations. An individual could not be seen , was not reflected back. I was forever trying to be one of my older brothers.....You are right. It was another lifetime, maybe even another person, but they still live inside you. Hard to escape entirely although - kudos to me - I have come a long way.
I appreciate your comments about being an open field. I like the idea that I get to be who I am in this moment. Everything changes and so do I. That's the messy part of being a human being, right?
I love that closing line: "We are all old, but there is ample time for practice." That could be a new mantra for me. Thanks , again, for giving me your perspective.
I always lived light - but that was mainly because I'm an actress/comedienne/writer. This work takes all of you. I got married at 50. Never wanted kids etc...I didn't want to even own a home....a born wanderer. People are disruptors - sometimes for good - for lessons - beware of the vampires.
simply is staying as unattached as possible.
The marketing ploy is truly a living organism, a growing invisible monster, lying and twisting its way around us and suffocating us. Careful with technology - that is a huge nose vacuuming up all energy....
Thanks for your contribution to the conversation, Laura. "Beware of the vampires" - I love that. Vampires can suck the life out of a person - be they other people or technology or insane pursuit of culturally imposed mandates or whatever. Staying unattached is also a useful idea and one that I have to work hard to implement. I appreciate your feedback.
I live simply because I was poor for many years, and I'm not willing to spend money on things I don't need.
I make my own shampoo, laundry soap, tooth paste and some other things from easily accessible and inexpensive ingredients. My shampoo is made by steeping plants that grow in the wild or abundantly where I live, so it's virtually free.
I also buy second hand, check out free bins and don't buy what I don't need.
I eat simple, vegan meals made from whole organically grown food.
And I don't need a magazine to tell me how to do these things.
HaHa! I hear you on the magazine! I have looked at it on the magazine rack and really? Really it appears to be one big advertisement for stuff. And probably mostly useless stuff at that!
Thank you for sharing some of your strategies for your simple life. I have a similar awareness of money and know how to budget resources. Having a garden and cooking simple healthy meals seem like great additions to a simple life style. Thanks for reading and commenting.
I want to simplify life by trying to fully enjoy and appreciate what I do have rather than longing for and regretting what I do not have. Often I fail miserably at this, but that’s what I at least want to try to do.
Now that is a perfect strategy, Bruce. I too often find myself wishing for some rare and perfect yesterday or tomorrow when I actually have in front of me the goodness of the present moment. I am forever learning how to be grateful for all that is mine and to avoid whining about that which I think I should have but don't have. I appreciate the reminder.
People look to the past and say that was less complicated. It did have its up's and down's and maybe depended on the weather if you were a farmer. Expectations are a conundrum. They are made of mutual dependency.
We are urbanized, so we are dependent, both on jobs and on supply chains, (often called "just-in-time"). Back to nature will only support very few, and you wouldn't know how to do it, (without a copy of Real Simple). Mankind has lost 1,000's of years of know-how, and claims ancients were ignorant. You can grow peas, or have chickens and get 3 eggs a day, but that won't feed a family.
What factors into the state of mind? The most important is to live within the means of your present income, and have some little surplus. Move very slowly with the increases. Every conundrum and complication is the result of one thing:
For the western man; your COMPARISON AND ENVY enslave you and finally kill you. If you didn't covet what "the Joneses" have, capitalism would crash, because you wouldn't buy that new iPhone. In fact all advertising doesn't seek to sell you a product, its goal is to make you envious. "Look at this model holding this mouthwash. So many people want to kiss her fragrant breath". She has it all. Envious, right?
All the rest is a side trip offered to ignore my ENVY: less internal chatter, less obligations, less swirling to-do lists, less physical stuff to care for, less outside input, less attention to appearances of all kinds, less meddling, less intrusions of busy-ness, less doing. Actually all that stuff is FUN! and each day only presents one, or just a few items.
When you are your incomparable self, you ARE surprised, you are openness, you are beauty. That is your true identity. You can't miss it.
.
I very much appreciate your comments. Just to add a piece of my own experience...in 1975, my parents left their working class LA neighborhood (my dad was a steel worker) and moved to a 20 acre parcel off the grid in Mendocino County (NorCal). Talk about pioneers. They were a successful part of that back to the land movement and lived up there until their deaths 30 to 40 years later . They built a home, grew their garden, found ways to make do, did not keep up with the Joneses , read their books, played their music, enjoyed the strangers along the dirt road who became neighbors. It was not an easy life but it was a rewarding life in its own way.
I agree with you that comparison and envy are the devils today. Advertising plays havoc with our mindsets. They want you to be envious so that you spend your money and make capitalism king. I sometimes simply do not realize how those advertisers and shysters who want my money can manipulate me. However, I think I am more aware than I was when I was younger and I think it behooves me to keep looking for those manipulations. I'm not sure what you mean by "all that stuff is fun". I don't particularly like cleaning house or taking care of "stuff". I am not a big fan of to do lists or frenetic anything. I don't consciously strive to keep up with the Joneses but I know the Joneses impact how I spend my time and money. GRRR
Thank you for commenting. I will think more about what you wrote.
Hello Graciewilde,
I think that you understand everything about what your parents modeled for you. I honor their choices and I honor their lives, (but not too much), because it cannot be a solution for the state of the world. Or even the state of our community.
If you understand about comparison and envy, you understand everything about our mental aberrations. It is also related to authority and "expertise". The whole point of our schooling is to bend us to authority, starting with the teacher's authority. I don't say rebel, but I do say be aware. So we are always looking out of the corner of our eye, if we are being approved of. Some part of society needs authority, but I say also learn to trust yourself. How did all those "experts" manage to make a Youtube video, (that you are going to watch)? I say that they self-declared their expertise. In order to stop comparing, you have to self-declare your own expertise. You are the special you, by definition, not by comparison.
I think that we all love to organize our lives. We each have our little "kits" of what we need for each activity. If we paint, we have our colors and brushes, and know how to stretch a canvas. If we can play something, we collect our sheet music, and organize it by easy, hard, needs work, powerful or soothing. We have our carpenter tools and our wood pile, or our knitting needles and our yarn collection.
We also organize our closet, do our wash, sew up that rip. We have our pots and pans, dishes and bowls. We know what our priorities are from day to day and what we will give time to next. None of that is forced doing, and I am saying is it satisfying (FUN). forced doing is from obligations. It is assumed obligations that we resent, if someone says "you owe it to me to do this". And we may let them have their way. It is our choice.
I ended with {When you are your incomparable self}, That means without comparison and envy. Thanks Graciewilde.
.
Your words literally bring tears to my eyes. I have an idea of what you are saying but I can't reach through the fog of a lifetime to fully comprehend it. That is both frustrating and sad. I agree that culture shapes us with its demands. I was rigidly shaped by the Catholic Church and by old school (and loving in their intent) parents. It was all about doing the "right" thing, and being the "right' person. I married at a very young age for lots of reasons - maybe to get out of the house, but mostly b/c I saw no other choices. Once I extracted myself from that marriage (which did not take very long), I could begin to discover my true identity. However, it's many years later and I STILL do not know what that is. I flounder and dabble and search and come up empty handed. Over and over. I envy, yes. I envy people who are comfortable in their own skin, who trust themselves. I am an open person, full of curiosity and always on the lookout for Beauty and yet , damn it! I DO compare. I DO still reach for someone to tell me the truth. I wait for myself to believe in something.
You also bring tears to my eyes with your clear and earnest honesty.
Please forget about the church and "doing things right". That is all in your memory (and you won't forget it), but that doesn't mean you have to recreate it in the present. Let it be another lifetime, or even another individual, that you can now love, nurture, and take care of.
You say that you can't grasp hold of your "true identity". Let it be that there is no such thing. You "truly" are an open field where perception and experiencing can happen. That can bring anything, anything that fits the current circumstances. That is not too much work. If anything it is too much joy.
You say people might be comfortable in their own skins, and that they might have something". Balderdash. Don't believe in anything, so then you can stop waiting.
The "truth", you must tell to yourself, and that is only one step at a time. We're all old, but there is ample time for patience.
.
Yes, I left Catholicism behind years ago but when you were as brined in it as I was, it is in your bones forever. If you set aside the church stuff, I think my parents gifted me with solid values and a strong family foundation. It was a big family in a small house, however, with regimentation and high expectations. An individual could not be seen , was not reflected back. I was forever trying to be one of my older brothers.....You are right. It was another lifetime, maybe even another person, but they still live inside you. Hard to escape entirely although - kudos to me - I have come a long way.
I appreciate your comments about being an open field. I like the idea that I get to be who I am in this moment. Everything changes and so do I. That's the messy part of being a human being, right?
I love that closing line: "We are all old, but there is ample time for practice." That could be a new mantra for me. Thanks , again, for giving me your perspective.
I always suggest trying new words to see if they make a difference.
"That's the messy part of being human" TO:
That's the intriguing part of being human.
Look at all of your "talk" and apply some verbal experiments. You might be surprised how things can change around our habitual comments.
Thanks
I always lived light - but that was mainly because I'm an actress/comedienne/writer. This work takes all of you. I got married at 50. Never wanted kids etc...I didn't want to even own a home....a born wanderer. People are disruptors - sometimes for good - for lessons - beware of the vampires.
simply is staying as unattached as possible.
The marketing ploy is truly a living organism, a growing invisible monster, lying and twisting its way around us and suffocating us. Careful with technology - that is a huge nose vacuuming up all energy....
nice subject Gracie!
Thanks for your contribution to the conversation, Laura. "Beware of the vampires" - I love that. Vampires can suck the life out of a person - be they other people or technology or insane pursuit of culturally imposed mandates or whatever. Staying unattached is also a useful idea and one that I have to work hard to implement. I appreciate your feedback.
I live simply because I was poor for many years, and I'm not willing to spend money on things I don't need.
I make my own shampoo, laundry soap, tooth paste and some other things from easily accessible and inexpensive ingredients. My shampoo is made by steeping plants that grow in the wild or abundantly where I live, so it's virtually free.
I also buy second hand, check out free bins and don't buy what I don't need.
I eat simple, vegan meals made from whole organically grown food.
And I don't need a magazine to tell me how to do these things.
HaHa! I hear you on the magazine! I have looked at it on the magazine rack and really? Really it appears to be one big advertisement for stuff. And probably mostly useless stuff at that!
Thank you for sharing some of your strategies for your simple life. I have a similar awareness of money and know how to budget resources. Having a garden and cooking simple healthy meals seem like great additions to a simple life style. Thanks for reading and commenting.
What magazine? I've never been on a magazine.
I garden too. Forgot to mention that. Just planted peas today.
I meant that I understand that you don't need a magazine (called Real Simple) to tell you how to live simply. 👍
I want to simplify life by trying to fully enjoy and appreciate what I do have rather than longing for and regretting what I do not have. Often I fail miserably at this, but that’s what I at least want to try to do.
Now that is a perfect strategy, Bruce. I too often find myself wishing for some rare and perfect yesterday or tomorrow when I actually have in front of me the goodness of the present moment. I am forever learning how to be grateful for all that is mine and to avoid whining about that which I think I should have but don't have. I appreciate the reminder.