I love your thoughts on this. My favorite people to talk with are always curious about others and willing to take things deeper and, you’re right, it almost always starts with small talk.
Yes! and the small talk can center on common concerns like our children, education, our health care system, our community. A bit of curiosity can open a lot of conversations. Thanks for reading and adding to the convo, Stacy.
Sometimes I wonder if there's any such thing as small talk. Even the weather is a big deal during forest fire season, and if you actually care about how people are doing, "How are you?" can be meaningful.
I agree, Diana. Asking people how they are does not have to be simply a courtesy. It can be a genuine connection and you are right. The changing climate conditions make weather a high priority and something we need to do more than talk about. Thanks for reading and adding your voice here.
I agree. Not much in life can be discounted or overlooked. There is a purpose for it all, even if we don't know it (or don't want to know it). Thanks for being part of the convo, Michael.
Well, I wish I could delete this comment. I am not opposed to small talk or those who enjoy it. I don't condemn it - that would be an unfair judgment usually based on insecurity. I just find it difficult. I am curious about other people but too often the conversation fades away after the minor introductions and I am, it turns out, an introvert. It may be that the conversation lags because I can't hold up my end. But not always.
I see your points about small talk's value, how it greases the wheels into relationships. It makes sense. Still, it's difficult for us introverts. Maybe it's genetic. Whatever. Be joyful in your extroversion and may it lead you into extraordinarily enjoyable relationships.
Hahahhaah - here's the funny thing. I am most definitely an introvert. I prefer solitude to people. Most especially, after a day at work or out in the world, I MUST have silence and be free of interruptions in order to recover. I do like people but in small doses. I can't abide a lot of noise and activity and you will rarely find me at any large social occasion. My work required me to get comfortable with making small talk and speaking before groups so I have to push myself out of my comfort zones in order to do that. But, once I adopted a growth mindset and tried on some different ways of being, I could do the small talk comfortably. But I will never not be an introvert. And I like being an introvert.
Small talk is not for everyone. You can be curious about other people but still not engage in any interactions. You can learn a lot by listening and can choose if and when you want to get into the conversation. To participate in small talk is not a requirement of being a decent human being but rather just an option. And there are other ways than small talk to connect with people.... like making a thoughtful comment on a blog. I tend to be more comfortable with writing than with speaking so I get that. Thanks for commenting here.
I love your thoughts on this. My favorite people to talk with are always curious about others and willing to take things deeper and, you’re right, it almost always starts with small talk.
Yes! and the small talk can center on common concerns like our children, education, our health care system, our community. A bit of curiosity can open a lot of conversations. Thanks for reading and adding to the convo, Stacy.
Sometimes I wonder if there's any such thing as small talk. Even the weather is a big deal during forest fire season, and if you actually care about how people are doing, "How are you?" can be meaningful.
I agree, Diana. Asking people how they are does not have to be simply a courtesy. It can be a genuine connection and you are right. The changing climate conditions make weather a high priority and something we need to do more than talk about. Thanks for reading and adding your voice here.
Yes! It's the preamble. It allows others to avoid bigger subjects if they need to, or shift with you. It's respectful.
Hi, Nancy! Yes, that's it. It's a way to go deeper but not an intrusive way. Thanks for chiming in.
I love small talk. It's like a mystery, looking for clues.
Right! It's so interesting! Thanks for reading and commenting.
Yes! Everything that matters has to have a beginning. I’ll never forget that beginning.
Yes, I know what you mean.
Small talk is like the frosting on a delicious cake. Once you taste it you want to finish the whole cake!
And who doesn’t like finishing the whole cake?
Exactly, Murie! You get a little taste of a person's story and then you want more!
Great essay and observations. In the end, nothing is unimportant it would seem.
I agree. Not much in life can be discounted or overlooked. There is a purpose for it all, even if we don't know it (or don't want to know it). Thanks for being part of the convo, Michael.
Yeah, me, too. What’s that all about anyway, speaking as introvert to introvert.
Well, I wish I could delete this comment. I am not opposed to small talk or those who enjoy it. I don't condemn it - that would be an unfair judgment usually based on insecurity. I just find it difficult. I am curious about other people but too often the conversation fades away after the minor introductions and I am, it turns out, an introvert. It may be that the conversation lags because I can't hold up my end. But not always.
I see your points about small talk's value, how it greases the wheels into relationships. It makes sense. Still, it's difficult for us introverts. Maybe it's genetic. Whatever. Be joyful in your extroversion and may it lead you into extraordinarily enjoyable relationships.
Hahahhaah - here's the funny thing. I am most definitely an introvert. I prefer solitude to people. Most especially, after a day at work or out in the world, I MUST have silence and be free of interruptions in order to recover. I do like people but in small doses. I can't abide a lot of noise and activity and you will rarely find me at any large social occasion. My work required me to get comfortable with making small talk and speaking before groups so I have to push myself out of my comfort zones in order to do that. But, once I adopted a growth mindset and tried on some different ways of being, I could do the small talk comfortably. But I will never not be an introvert. And I like being an introvert.
Small talk is not for everyone. You can be curious about other people but still not engage in any interactions. You can learn a lot by listening and can choose if and when you want to get into the conversation. To participate in small talk is not a requirement of being a decent human being but rather just an option. And there are other ways than small talk to connect with people.... like making a thoughtful comment on a blog. I tend to be more comfortable with writing than with speaking so I get that. Thanks for commenting here.